book, writing

Changing Desires Into Habits

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

Is writing a habit or a desire for you?

Let’s be sure we distinguish the difference between the two:

A habit is something we do as a regular tendency or practice. Almost without thinking about it, we just do it.

A desire is a strong wish or want. Thus, it IS thought about—sometimes thought about A LOT—but it may, or may not, actually happen. And certainly doesn’t happen on its own, without effort on our part.

So, just what does it take to move writing out of the desire category and form it into a habit?

Glad you asked.

They say to form a habit, it takes breaking the old habit and replacing it with a new habit.

That takes, according to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics, a minimum of 21 days for the old image in our brains to disappear.

Then, according to Phillippa Lally, University of London researcher, it takes from 66 to 500 days for a new behavior to become automatic.

Let’s see. That comes out to be a total of 3-18 months for the entire process.

It may seem easier for you to keep writing in the desire category than spend the time necessary to build writing as a habit, but…

are you really content with a life filled with only desires???

A life as a non-writer?

A life as a dreamer of dreams, but with no dreams realized?

Be honest. Because this is where the rubber meets the road…where the pen meets the paper, isn’t it?

This is a new year. Honor yourself by taking those dreams of being a writer and acting on them.

Realize them this year by forming the habit of writing.

Make a reasonable writing plan.

Reaffirm your plan every day by sticking to it.

Re-evaluate your plan on a quarterly basis (at the very least).

Recognize that you may need help: from “how-to” books, conferences, pep-talks from other writers, a mentor, and so on.

If you will do this, next January you should be able to say “I AM A WRITER!”

Get that? NOT “I desire to be a writer,” but instead you’ll enjoy the fact that you will have formed the habit of writing.

Actors, ice-skaters, gymnasts, singers, magicians…they ALL had to form habits of being what they desired to be.

Writers are no different.

We have to replace the old habits of watching too much television or taking long afternoon naps or shopping  too often and replace them with actively writing every day or we will NOT meet the goal.

So, let me ask you again:

Is writing just a desire for you? Or are you willing to do what it takes to make it a habit?

A Handshake and a Smile

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

I grew up in the era of the door-to-door salesman. The Fuller Brush Man. The Avon Lady.  Most of them had great smiles and talked really fast. If they had a firm handshake, my mother kept the door open a little longer.

What do a handshake and a smile have to do with being an author?

EVERYTHING!!!

You may think that you’re selling your book…your words…but, the truth is, in large part, you are selling YOURSELF.

Most of the authors I follow, and read loyally, are people I like. Oh, I’ve not met many of them, personally, but you can learn a lot about a person by reading their blogs, visiting their websites, and so on.

You may be fortunate enough to go to one of their book signings or visit with them at a writers’ conference.

The truth is, if you like them…feel like you connect to them in some way…like the same sports, movies, food…you are more likely to read their books than those of someone with whom you feel a disconnect.

Just saying.

So, when the proverbial shoe is on the other foot, the same goes. A potential reader may catch up with you at a book signing, extend their hand, and before you know it…that’s right, the dreaded handshake.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they shake your hand. Extroverts and those with self-confidence have firm grips. Introverts, with less self-confidence, often show fear or weakness by displaying  cold, clammy, soft, limp, lifeless handshakes.

So, work a little on that handshake. A great one earns respect and will impress others:

A handshake should last only 3-6 seconds.

It should be firm, but not a death grip.  Apply the same pressure as the person you’re shaking hands with. This will convey warmth and sincerity, confidence, and equality.

Make sure to make eye contact and repeat the person’t name, as you shake their hand.

Finally, just like a burger needs a bun, a handshake needs a smile.

So, here are a few hints in that direction:

Displaying a confident smile ensures that people take you seriously.

A true (not fake) smile reaches all the way up to your eyes so that the corners crinkle.

Part your teeth, slightly (this is where good hygiene goes a long way), widen your eyes a little, put your shoulders back, and maintain eye contact.

Remember, when you appear more enthusiastic and motivated, others will see you as more cheerful, attractive, and young…at least that’s what researchers say.

And who wouldn’t want to appear younger?

Finally, I’d say that, as much as possible, let your writing display these same, positive qualities. Let your words on the page exude warmth, caring, and friendliness. Let them be your handshake and a smile.

No More Excuses!

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

Okay. So, a dream of mine is owning a “writing” cabin. A place where I can go to be alone, without distractions, and just write.

A fellow writer recently announced that she and her husband just purchased, and have already moved to, just such a place. I am so excited for her!

But, for myself, I am not quite able to do that just yet.

So what is a writer to do?

Well, my husband rented us a home for two weeks on the Washington coast—high on a bluff, overlooking the ocean—a dream of mine come true.

I will write. He will fish with his buddies. Life doesn’t get much better than that!

But, let’s bring this discussion back into perspective. Crank it down a notch or two.

The point is this: writers need a place to write, set apart from the noise and activity that abounds at home. If you can afford to buy a cabin—wonderful! If you can rent one for a short period and immerse yourself in writing—fantastic.

If neither of these is plausible, at this point, just opt for a bedroom you can convert into an office, or a separate bedroom with a desk—and a lock on the door…someplace with relative peace and quiet that you can utilize to separate yourself from daily life…a place where you can immerse yourself into the “world” you are creating in your book…a place where your characters come alive and speak to you…a place where you can thrive as an author.

If these aren’t options for you, then consider blocks of time when your family is not at home and you can write without annoying distractions…a time when the house is quiet and you can write—type—pace—talk out loud—whatever you need to do to move forward with your writing.

You may have to schedule available time by enrolling your children in sports or a Parks and Recreation class, etc. It may require a monetary, as well as a time, commitment.

I have a friend who finds Starbucks a great place to write…

But, listen, in all seriousness, doesn’t everything that is important, require a sacrifice of some sort?

So, no more excuses not to write.

Be creative. Find what works best for you. Take a trip to your favorite office supply store and buy what you need and then get back home and get to it.

No more saying, “I don’t have time to write.”

No more saying, “I don’t have a place to write.”

No more excuses.

M-O-S-Q-U-I-T-O-E-S

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

I don’t know where they came from, or how they got inside my house, but I have a couple of pesky mosquitoes that have taken up residence in my home office. They may not have planned it that way, but I think they stay around because they see a free meal…

The first day they showed up, uninvited and unannounced, I got eaten up, badly. Within an hour, I had huge welts on my legs, arms, neck, and hands. It wasn’t just exposed skin they were going for, as I recall from past experience, these mosquitos also bit me through my shirt!

The fact was, I needed to work at my computer. It was in my office. And, so were the intruders.

I needed a plan. I needed to be proactive.

I tried the fly-swatter method. They seemed to know I was armed and waiting, so they laid low. It was only after I put the swatter down and started working that they ventured out, again.

If I wanted to get any work done, I had play defense: Type. Swat. Type. Swat.

Finally, I  went down to the corner drugstore and bought insect repellent. I sprayed the air, the carpet, my clothing, and doused all exposed skin.

Finally, I was successful. I repeated this every four hours, making it possible for me to get my work done every day this week.

Proactive. That’s the name of the game.

The same goes for writing. I have found I have to get proactive. I have a writing plan and as long as I stick to it, I can get a lot accomplished.

If  something or someone comes around to disrupt me, like say a phone call from a friend, I end up not being very productive—if I don’t follow the plan I put in place way back in January (no answering the phone or emails between 9:00 a.m. and 3 p.m. each day). And, that hurts.

I have to be proactive: answer emails, start the laundry, straighten up the house—BEFORE 9 a.m. If I do that, the next six hours are productive. If I don’t take charge of my writing life, there are always little mosquitos that buzz around with only one goal in mind: to suck the hours of productivity right out of me!

M-  Mom and Dad (they are older, now, and I need to check on them every day).

O-  opening emails and physical mail.

S-  snacking (the refrigerator and pantry are just a few feet away).

Q-  quiet (every little noise can be a distraction).

U-  up and down (the dog wants out, I need to stretch, change to laundry from the washer to 

      the dryer…)

I-  ideas that pop into my head at the most inopportune times, distracting me from the work at

    hand.

T-  telephone (a temptation to answer every time it rings…I put it on silent mode).

O-  opportunities (little things that seem to come up every day; seemingly “good” ideas, but 

      really nothing more than distractions in disguise.)

E- energy—lack thereof.

S-  social media. Need I say more????

How do you handle the “mosquitoes” in your life?

Lights! Camera! Action!

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

One of the first rules of writing, is to begin your story, chapter, or scene by dropping your reader into the midst of the ACTION.

You ask, “But, what about the backstory?”

Well, you tell me. Which is more exciting? The beginning of Story A or Story B?

A)  Claudette, a forty year old nurse, was born in Kansas City, met and married Charlie right out of high school. Together they had three children, a cat, and a dog. Her husband died last year, her parents the year before that.

B)  Claudette crept from behind a cluster of large oak barrels on the deserted wharf. It would soon be dark. If she was going to attempt an escape, she would have to do it soon. With the gag still in place, she couldn’t scream for help. Her wrists were raw where she  strained against the ropes binding them. Surely those hoodlums had mistaken her for someone else—someone rich and famous. Charlie would never be able to pay such a high ransom. He didn’t do well in stressful situations, anyway. No, if she was going to get out of this alive, she’d have to do it herself.

My point is, that once you drop your reading audience in the midst of the story with your character, you’ll have plenty of time to feed them the backstory, a little at a time, in the form of ACTION.

I find it easiest to accomplish this kind of writing by VISUALIZING my characters DOING: talking, moving, reacting. It’s a book, but the characters still have to be SEEN in the readers’ internal eyes.

In a movie, actors SHOW us what they are doing. However, in a book, it is the author’s WORDS that help readers SEE what is going on. If they are just sitting there on a sofa, it is likely the book will soon be tossed aside. (Would you want to watch a movie where the character didn’t say anything, talk to anyone, express any thoughts??)

I have made myself lists of verbs, adjectives, exciting phrases, facial expressions, and so on. These are displayed on huge poster boards hanging inside my office closet.

I refer to the board, often. If I use a word or phrase from my list, I put a mark beside it. I strive not to use it again in the exact same way in that particular book. I mean, do you want to read “huge crocodile tears ran down her cheeks” every time Mary cries? It takes some creativity, but it IS possible to say the same thing in a variety of ways.

So, there you have it. A book is really a movie, in a different format. If you are a screenwriter, you can count on actors and actresses—even animation—to make your story come alive. But, a writer?  Well, you must rely on your words—actions verbs, colorful adjectives, emotionally laden. You’re a “one-man-show.”

When you write this way, not only is the book a more exciting read, the entire writing process becomes more exciting for you, as well. There are actually times I feel my heartbeat and breathing accelerate along with my character’s. My mouth goes dry when his does. My hands really and truly shake on the keyboard.

Now, that’s action!

And this is “a wrap!”

Get Cranking!

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

So, you get your submission back from your critique group. They have a few “suggestions” for improvement.

Your manuscript is returned from your editor with hundreds of “red lines”. A major rewrite is in order.

Your Beta Readers are less than enthusiastic about the plot or characters in your latest book. You need to tear it apart and see where it went wrong.

Negative comments are inevitable, but we cannot let them devastate us as writers. When you get them, first “consider the source”. Then, if the source is credible and the person is someone you respect, spend as little time as possible wallowing in despair.

I say: “get cranking.” Learn what you need to learn; do what you need to do. Use all of that pent up frustration in the direction of making improvements.

Oh, to be sure, we love those positive comments that make us feel successful, but it’s those negatives that can really light the fire under us. They have the power to propel us to greatness if we turn them around and view them as positives.

We can even learn to be thankful for them, because they are the ones that stretch us as  writers and spur us on to learn and grow in our craft!

If we allow ourselves to be devastated by negatives, we will soon find ourselves deep in a black hole of gigantic proportions, stagnated and unable to ever face the computer keyboard again.

When riders are thrown from a horse, the best advice they receive is to get back in the saddle as soon as possible. As writers, that “horse” may look like a harmless chair on rollers. But, here’s the point:

Don’t let negatives define you.

Use them to your advantage and

Get Cranking!

MILK IT!

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

There are times when my Critique Group writes “Milk It!” when commenting on some of my scenes. What they are saying is that they want MORE than I have written.

MORE ACTION

MORE EMOTION

MORE INTERNAL THOUGHTS

MORE DESCRIPTION

MORE CONFLICT

Why? Because that’s what makes a story exciting and satisfying. If you want your book to be a real page turner, then a writer has to deliver ON EVERY PAGE.

DON’T SKIMP.

PLUMP IT UP. Use rich vocabulary. Lots of adjectives and verbs. Paint a visual picture.

Furnish the details. Let them get inside the characters’ heads by revealing their emotions via DIALOGUE, ACTIONS, AND THOUGHTS.

PUMP UP the plot. Make the content EXCITING. Make your reading audience want to keep turning the pages.

I know I have read books that were so exciting that they literally kept me up ALL NIGHT. I just couldn’t put them down.

That’s what writers want, isn’t it? To have our readers so completely drawn in by our characters and their journeys that they just can’t turn out the light and go to bed.

When I am done writing a chapter, I set it aside until the following day. Then, I read it again, with the eyes of a READER. I look to see if the first paragraph “hooks” me, if I want to keep reading to the end, and then if the closing sentence leaves me wanting more.

If so, I start writing the next chapter. If not, I look for where there is lagging action, conflict, emotions, thoughts, and/or descriptions. Then, I re-write, adding those elements.

I repeat the process until I am WOWED.

Then, it’s ready for the critique group. If they are WOWED, then I’m a happy camper. If they are WOWED, I know readers will be, too.

So if you have a nice little story which is lacking in PIZAZZ, why not make it a page turner?

Spice it up.

Change it up.

Shake it up.

MILK IT!!!!

Brenda

Revisit, Rethink, Revise, Rewrite

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

A lot can happen between January and April. A writing plan that is made at the beginning of the year, without revision, will simply not take us past spring, into summer and beyond. It’s time to revisit, update and, if necessary, rewrite.

Let’s ask ourselves these questions: Is my plan still working? Is it still realistic? What has changed in my life since the plan was written? Do those changes affect my being able to carry out the plan? If so, what needs to be adjusted?

Here is what I have found. The culprit in my efforts to keep to plan is time. When I wrote my plan in January, I failed to factor in time necessary for research, webinars, and writing-related reading. I hadn’t allowed for the hours necessary for completing submissions. And finally, I had scheduled so many hours of writing, that I hadn’t left enough time available for my personal life—attending family dinners, movies with my husband, walking the dog.

So, perhaps I need to write a life plan that includes devotions, writing, exercise, volunteering, family/friends activities, housework, and leisure. Writing can be a large part of that plan, but I need to allow for the unplanned, too—that surprise visit from Aunt Martha, an unexpected phone call, a refrigerator on the fritz.

This quarter, I am going to tackle this time problem, once and for all. First, I am not answering the door or the phone during my scheduled writing time. I’m going to take advantage of voicemail, email, and texting by answering once my writing time is completed.  Secondly, I am building in an hour of flex time into my day—time for the previously unexpected, which I am now going to dub the “expected interruptions.” I don’t know exactly when they will come, but I do know with a fair degree of certainty that they will come. And when they do, I’ll be ready.

I am hoping this new daily plan will keep me from getting frazzled and help me meet my husband at the door with a smile, rather than the wild-eyed look I have been famous for these last few months. And, oh yes, I am setting up a reward system. I am giving myself a little reward at the end of each day that I actually keep to my plan. Time to pleasure read, calling a friend and chatting (yes, a real conversation, not a text), enjoying lemonade on the patio, and watching a favorite television show are on my short list.

Your problem may not be time. Yours may be self-motivation or organization. No matter what they are, problems will remain problems, unless we meet them head on.

It all starts with a plan. A plan that is tweaked often so that we can better reach our writing goals. A plan that is rewarded in increments so that we are encouraged to keep on writing on a daily basis.

Someone will write words that will inspire others for generations to come. Will they be yours?

Brenda

Happy Landing!

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

I’d like to tell you about Ben De Rienzo’s Booklaunch. This is especially good information for those of you who are nearing completion of your book or even those who have already completed your book and beginning your marketing. It just may be a game changer for all of us because we must be active in promoting our books if we are going to be successful in the marketplace. This is true for those who are self-publishing as well as those who are going the traditional publishing route.

In a nutshell, this is all about a landing page, which is a single, dedicated, permanent page on the internet used to promote your book. It is a template for a page which shows the book cover, has space for a great headline and welcome copy, a brightly-colored “Buy Now” button, purchase links to vendors, space for your bio and contact information, offers a “Sneak Peek”  (the first chapter or two), space for credible endorsements, responsive web design (for those who shop via their smart phones, etc.), capability of running your video book trailer, allows for page customization/optimization to support your overall brand, and….

I think you get the idea.

I watched his webinar, last Thursday, and the above information is taken from my notes. I am pretty certain that what I have said is accurate, but please check everything out on his website to verify. His website address is: www.booklaunch.io

If you are like me, I want to write—not necessarily spend all of my time on publicity and marketing—and so I appreciate any tools I can use to make this process easier for me. The fact that his company offers unlimited help via phone, chat, and so on makes me doubly interested in getting started. Did I mention you can use a plug-in to put this on your WordPress site?

So for those of you who have a passion for writing, but whose computer skills are minimal, or those who find yourselves in a time crunch, checking out Ben’s Booklaunch may be yet another tool to get your self-promotion off in the write direction.

By the way, I know Joel Friedlander also has a landing page out there. He is another amazing guy whose many products you may want to consider!

The WOW Factor

Posted on by Brenda Poulos

Ross Perot said, “There are but two things worth living for: to do what is worthy of being written and to write what is worthy of being read.”

I just finished reading a book that had been on my “must read” stack for quite some time. It was written by one of my favorite authors and I had really been looking forward to reading it.

It started out pretty well. It met all of my expectations. It was a page turner.

However, about the middle of the book things started getting bogged down. Plot problems, character problems, difficulties with point of view. There were even errors in grammar and spelling.

I considered giving up on the book because the author just wasn’t delivering the goods. I was disappointed. I had spent about twelve hours reading the book so far, and was at the point where I would either have to cut my losses or keep reading in hopes that the author would be able to pull it all together in the end. It might not be a total loss…

Whether the author is well-known or new like some of us, all readers ask is that we deliver on our promises. Right? Before buying a book, the back cover, reviews, advertising and friends’ recommendations help make for a somewhat informed decision. After the purchase, readers settle into that comfortable chair and expect to be wowed.

So, I write this to encourage each of us to write each the best we can. If you are a well-known writer with a huge following, it is just as important as for those of us who are yet to be published.

We all know that it’s no fun doing rewrites, throwing out a chapter or two, or saying good-bye to a character that just never quite comes to life the way we’d hoped. Having to do these things may disappoint us as writers—especially new ones like myself who are excited to be nearing the end of our first book—but the fact is that we should enjoy writing for writing’s sake—fulfilling our creative passions. Beyond that comes the satisfaction of having our books read and appreciated by our audience and, of course, earning an income from what we do from our hearts.

It may take a little longer before that next book comes to the marketplace, but it will be more satisfying if we know that our readers are getting the “good read” they expect—and deserve.

If you recognized this as a major vent, thanks for reading on to the end. I feel a lot better now.

Brenda